Growing Up Without Understanding His Sacrifice
There are some sacrifices you only understand when you grow up…
When you are a child, you think parents are just doing what parents do. You think money comes because adults work. You think distance is normal. You think absence is part of life.
Then one day, you build your own life. You move far from home. You live in another country. And suddenly, everything makes sense.
That is when you finally understand your father.
My father spent most of his life working abroad.
In the 80s and 90s, there was no WiFi, no mobile phones, no video calls, and no instant connection. There were only letters that took weeks to arrive and sometimes a three minute international phone call after waiting for days.
Three minutes to hear his children’s voices. Three minutes to ask about school. Three minutes to pretend he was not lonely. Then the call would end, and he would go back to his small room, far away from home.
But he never complained.
A Life Lived Far From Family
He first left home to support his parents and siblings. Then he left again to build a better future for his own children. Every time he packed his bag, he carried more responsibility than clothes.
He worked in foreign countries where he was always an outsider. The language was different. The food was unfamiliar. The culture was new. He lived alone. He ate alone. He slept alone. He worked long hours.
Not because he wanted to be away from us, but because he wanted us to live better.
While we were growing up, celebrating birthdays and passing exams, he was missing everything. Not because he did not care, but because he cared too much.
He never told us how hard life was.
He never spoke about loneliness. He never talked about his struggles. He never mentioned the pressure. When we spoke, he asked about our studies. He asked if we were eating well. He asked if we were doing okay.
He never talked about himself.
We thought he was strong because he never broke.
Now I understand he was strong because he never allowed himself to.
Understanding His Strength Too Late
Today, I live abroad myself. Life is much easier now than it ever was for him. I have internet. I have video calls. I have my family with me. I have comfort.
And still, some days I feel helpless. Some nights I feel lonely. Sometimes I miss home so much it hurts.
And that is when I think of him.
He lived alone for years. He carried homesickness in his heart. He stayed strong without ever turning back.
Life gave him health problems. Life gave him stress. Life gave him pressure. But he never said, “I cannot do this anymore.” He never said, “This is too much.” He never gave up.
Because of him, we studied in the best schools. Because of him, we achieved the best. Because of him, we became who we are today.
At that time, I was too young to understand.
Now I understand everything.
And it hurts that I cannot sit with him today and say, “Thank you, Baba. You were my hero.”
This story is about my father, but I know it is also about many fathers and brothers out there who left their homes to build better lives for their families.
If this story reminds you of your father or brother, please honour them while you still can.
Give them your time.
Give them your words.
Give them your gratitude.
And if you want to make that moment unforgettable, give them a Gratitude Award and say:
“You built our world.”
Because men like them deserve to be recognised while they are still here to feel it.